Ohh!

Look at this, Mag-flippin-nificent.

I found this inside a toilet cubical at a motorway service station on the M5. It looks very much like a toilet dwelling Casper (the friendly ghost) looking shocked , probably at the state of the toilet pan after a large truck driver has visited with the skitter after a dodgy lamb madras.

Basic But Quaint

This is the first of our TransAtlantic art works.

This was chronicalled by one of my Canadian scouts. Such simplicity, such efficiency, such beauty. Obviously a very serious fire safety sign but we can all enjoy a fine piece of art as we flee a burning inferno. You could also image eating a giant glazed rack of ribs or 28 oZ burger outside after you've put yourself out by stop, dropping and rolling on the grass.

Badly Made Bog

This little "alteration" has been around a while. I've often gazed at this while taking a wizz in the gents toilet at Terminal studios, South London.

It originally was a sticky label that said Proudly made in the UK but due to to wear and tear on the label the opertunity for a passing artiste to change the proudly to Badly was presented.

Beautiful!

Tit are Ace

They truly are!!

This is one of the oldest in the collection. It is one of the lost Master pieces from the mythical Gallery of the Nottingham Rock City backstage toilet. Like the libraries of ancient Rome being burnt by the marauding Visigoths countless unreplacable treasures were lost when backstage Rock City was painted over by marauding decorators. This is a rare piece I saved from there savagery. Although many apprentices have since begun the restoration of these hallowed walls. Here's to the future and let's all cheer- "Tits are Ace"!!!

Man wanking into an angry dogs mouth

This is my favourite art work of all time. I've seen Rubens in Vienna, Rothco in London and Dali in New York. But this Artist in Stoke SugarMill is the finest I've ever seen. Some people love the splender of the great masters, some the free expression of the cubists and some the absurdity of the Dadaists. But I love the Dressing Room Masters. Why is the man so angry? why is he wanking into an angry dogs mouth? The answer: Who cares it's a triumph!

Now wash my what?

This one was not strictly found on the wall of a gig but it was found on the wall above a urinal at a service station I stopped at on the way to a gig- so I think it counts.

It is very faint because of the lighting in the toilet but some scribbleSmith has scibbled out the word hands and added the word cock make the signage read "Now Wash Your Cock".

Oh, Angry!

This is one of the overly gay comments found on the wall of the Stoke Sugarmill store room gallery.

It is a very angry way to request some same sex love.

Your mum's a Knob

This was a subtle little comment found on the very unusable dressing room mirror at the Manchester Academy 3. Rendered totally unusable as a looking mirror by being covered by band stickers, but the frame was an excellent canvas.

I enjoy very good use of punctuation but dislike the abysmal spelling.

Labias are funny

The artist of this mammoth (about 3ft by 3ft) very kindly gives the viewer a diagram of some labia so that they may see for themself how funny they really are.

I particularly like the fancy font.

This huge art work I found hidden at the top of the stairs back stage at the Stoke Sugar Mill. Not many people get this far as it is beyond the old dressing room (now a storage room) as it is covered floor to ceiling. It is a pure joy to gaze endlessly at over 10 years of drawings and comments, although it has a very high percentage of cocks and gay based art and comments.

The venue staff ensured me that, although there was plans to do so, the walls will remain as they are, as it would be a crime to paint over such a quantity of art.

The Classic

This is a classic school boy cock- Ball Cock Ball, Nob Line, japs eye Line, three hairs on each ball and three squirts. Simple.

Without a doubt we will be seing quite a bit more of this perrenial favourite.

This one was found on the shutter of the goods lift at the Manchester Academy 3. It's always a real treat to find one of these, they never fail to please.

Cat in a Shat Hat

This is quite simply a crude drawing of a man pooing on a kittens head.

This was found in the small dressing room toilet in Stoke Sugar Mill. The gig gallery up there with The Tate or Saatchi Gallery.

The cat doesn't like whats happening to it but looks big enough to make it stop.

I Love Crack

And lets face it who doesn't!

This little gem has been around a while, hanging round on the inside of the goods lift at the Manchester Academy 3.

You can see to the right of the word "crack" part of an addition made by a later artist. Some-one has made it read "I love Crack Sniffing" along with a crude drawing of a man bending over with his bottom exposed, for sniffing purposes presumably. Further additions are very common in Gig Art, most commonly the addition of the words- "are shite" or "Is Gay" after a band or persons name.

In hind sight I should of pictured the full reworking but I enjoyed the original the most.

Raison D'Etre

I have been collecting these wonderful images for a while now. I thought no more of it until I discovered one of my favourite venue "Galleries" (Nottingham rock city backstage toilet to be precise) covered in a fresh coat of paint- scumBags! I thought. They had covered some of my favourite Dressing Room Wall artworks which were now lost forever. It was at this point I became adament that I would catalogue all the dressing room wonders I came across. Now with mobile phone cameras this has become very easy. Once I have pictured the highlights of a dressing room, toilet or hallway I now see fresh paint as a fresh canvas and look forward to revisiting to see what geniuses have been.

Please enjoy the irreverance in dressing Room Walls